"MIDWIFE BLUES"
by Pat Schwaiger
sung to the tune of
Thank God I'm a Country boy
Everybody's wishin' they were in my shoes.
My job's so excitin'. Well, here's some news.
Just let me tell ya about the Midwife Blues.
It's hard to be a Midwife.
Three in the morin' and the call comes in.
Ya gotta go out in the rain and wind.
Cause every lil' baby's like your very own kin.
That's why I'm a Midwife.
Prayin' to the Lord for a lil' more power.
Flying down the highway ninety miles an hour.
Walkin' through the door, cool as a flower.
They're countin' on a Midwife
Breathin' and massagin' and fixin' up the bed.
Makin' sure the daddy and the kids are fed.
Pourin out the oil and cathchin' the head.
It's a joy to be a Midwife.
Wonderin' why the mamma still is a hollerin'.
Oh my God! There's a twin a followin'.
This here family still owes a hundred dollars.
Oh, why am I a midwife?
Well, I'm all tuckered out but I'm driving home fast.
Fifteen minutes till my childbirth class.
Now I got the cops and doctors on my ass.
Lookout if you're a Midwife
The couples gather round and I'm starting to teach.
When out of the blue comes Beep! Beep! Beep!
There's another one in labor and this one's breech.
I gotta be crazy to be a Midwife.
I don't mind the joke about swallowin' a melon.
I don't mind the mess and I don't mind the yellin'.
Some call me a saint. Some call me a felon.
That's the names of a Midwife.
An outlaw's somethin' I never meant to be.
But I see miracles other never see.
Any every time a baby smiles at me.
I thank God I'm a Midwife!
Reprinted from "Hand Delivered", The Virginia Midwifery Network Newsletter
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